Assuming the best in others

Yesterday was a beautify evening out in Nebraska. With the scent of rain in the air; the cool breeze, I was feeling particularly good about myself.  I went to meet up with a group of people that I love very dearly. They have adopted me into their tribe if you will. It was their mother’s birthday; she always wanted me as a daughter-in-law. That never happened; another tale for another day.

As the evening proceeded, I noticed this guy was looking my way. I didn’t think anything of it at the moment. I just like to be aware of my surroundings. So later on, I proceeded to the bar to get a cocktail. When I turned around there he was staring right at me. Besides it being a little weird and uncomfortable; I said hello, and so the awkward tango begins with the initial introductions. That would have been the perfect time to tell me key facts about him or his life. Instead, I just got the usual male response. Your pretty comment and who are you herewith, his name and from out of town. This is to the male audience, that is reading this article. Stop using one-liners; like we still live in the 1950s. Just be honest, upfront, and for the love of everything holy. Please be yourself. Real women don’t care about your financial status, what car you drive, telling us women how pretty we are. That one-liner that is directly driven by other intentions, than genuinely desiring to get to know us for our minds or talents. In other words, our personal worth and value as a human being. We do know the intentions and pay attention to your body language. I will at this point state that this goes for both men and women as a general rule.

Ok, moving on with my account about last night. The “guy” mentioned he wanted to go next door to the other bar; proceeded to ask if I would like to join him. I said yes and off we went next door. Once we arrived, he bought me a drink and sat down. This is where the twist comes in. He looks right at me with a smile and says, “I am married, but I think you’re pretty”. Oh really now I was thinking to myself along with a few other alternative words. However, I took the high road and smiled. Thinking, that would have been very valuable information when you introduced yourself to me earlier. I was a lady and proceeded to finish my wine. Turning the conversation to his marriage and kids, yes he has kids as well. Making him uncomfortable and concentrating on the one reason why he should have never taken the initial conversation any further than the hello. 

Then we moved back to the other bar, where my friends were located. Of course, I was immediately approached and asked what was happening. I told them what happened, and quickly he was asked to leave and that his intentions were not appropriate. I love my second family, as they are always watching out for me. I am truly happy that they are in my life. It’s great to have good, honest, caring people in your life. Even, though my intentions during this process were not to go further than the conversation. I truly just wanted to have an adult conversation and just get to hear someone else’s journey. Why is it people, in general, feel the need to lie, omit information out, or even ask if being married is a problem. News flash! We see right through it, and not sure whom you think that your fooling.

The point of sharing this story is to let not just men, but women as well know. Stop with the games! It serves no purpose and causes more damage, and hurts people along the way. Fortunately, for myself, I am observant and pick up on little nuances and body language. So as I wrap this up, should I continue to assume the best in men immediate? Or should I just start asking the hard-hitting questions right up front? When I do this, my mind quickly goes to, assuming everyone is bad or dishonest. I for one do not desire to automatically think the worst in people. Not sure if this is fortunate or unfortunate, as I have very little social life. So for me, these interactions are far and few in between these days. However, this is not the case for many others that are socially active in the digital age of dating sites, texting, and social media.

I leave you with this one other question. Has the digital age left us desensitized to the human aspect of social interactions and certain protocols? With social media, we can fluff, omit, or even create a world that appears to be more than it is. Next time you guys or gals interact with another “human being”, just keep it real and honest. Lies get you nothing but heartache and misery. Even a divorce if you’re not careful.

Thank you!

Just Morgan

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