Are you happy with yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you love who you see in the mirror? These are all questions that I do and have asked myself after my divorce. I still do it from time to time. As it’s a nice way to examine where your head is at. I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me, I found that this was one of the hardest things to improve about myself. Initially, I didn’t like myself at all.
This took a lot of work on my part to make these internal changes about my attitude. Once I started to work on me and get to the heart of the issue. That is when I started to realize that, I had a lot of work to do. You see, it wasn’t my ex-husband, work, or life that caused it.
It was me that allowed this to happen. Sure my ex-husband contributed a lot to my state of mind. It was me who allowed him and all of these external sources to contaminate my space, thoughts, and wellbeing. Sure, these things are what initiated this downward spiral, but who allowed this to happen. That was me.
I accepted what my ex told me, or the lack of value he placed on me. My work was not to blame for my divorce or bad attitude. Now as to my life, this is the world that I created and allowed it to be diminished by others and the negative energy around me.
You see I gave my power away and assumed others would have my best interest at heart. Rest assured they did not. I do not blame anyone else but myself; and now that I have taken inventory and took my power back. I have cleaned my headspace, so I can wake up every day. Knowing that I own my happiness now. Regardless, of what the day brings now.
I will meet it head-on and at the end of the day. I will know that I did my best and remained in control of my power. I for one, am a firm believer in surrounding yourself with positive messages, energy, and anything that brings you pure joy and happiness. Think of it like this. We all have that room in the house that’s always cluttered or messy. This is typically one room we do not enjoy spending time in.
This is no different from ourselves. As long as you are filled with clutter (hate, negativity, anger, self-doubt, etc.). You will never be happy being you. This will also send the wrong message to others and deflect others, instead of attracting. I for one know how hard it is to change how you see yourself or feel about yourself.
This is not an easy process and one that takes lots of practice. Any type of change you want to make, it is no different than any other change in life. To quote AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), “we admitted we were powerless over (insert here) – that our lives had become unmanageable. ” I feel that this goes for so many aspects of our lives.
Regardless, if you’re an alcoholic or not. I have a coin at my desk that I purchased a few years back. It has the Serenity prayer on it. I find it comforting, on days that seem to be tougher than others. It brings me comfort to read it and hold at those moments; that I need to take a few seconds to hit that pause button.
The point that I am trying to make with all of this. Is that this is how you can expect to truly move on. Then just maybe at that moment. You will have space for another person to love you; or even come into your life. If you don’t even want to be around yourself. Think about it. Would you want to be around someone angry, sad, or even filled with negative energy? The answer, of course, would be no. Just focus on you and start that healing process